"Spanish-isms"

Emily, Sara, Katelyn and Julia came up with this hilarious list of "Spanish-isms" that I just had to share because they are just all so true. I also added a few of my own . Enjoy:

• Ikea is the gold standard of furniture
• No fresh flowers in homes
• People "invite" each other for meals and drinks
• Flip flops for beach only
• No baseball hats
• Must show ID with credit card
• Servers don't refill your drinks
• Red wine is always refrigerated
• Napkins are made of wax paper
  
• Exaggerated gesticulation, so it's hard to tell from afar if someone is talking about the weather or their firstborn child
• All basic medicine is behind the counter
• People stand in doorways and saying excuse me to get by is useless
• Pushing is acceptable touching a lot in general is acceptable
• No concept of personal space, especially in lines
• Kids pee in parks
• Food is left on the counter, unrefridgerated, overnight
• Napkins are crumpled up on the table
• All time tables for buses are different based on what website or bus map you are looking at
• People say ¨hasta luego¨ in passing instead of ¨hi,¨ like we do
• No bare feet... ever
• Sports clothes are never to be worn outside
• No going outside with wet hair, even if its hot out
• TV is on during all meals
• Yogurt and fruit for dessert
• People share salad bowls
• People will cut the last piece of food into small pieces so as to not take the actual last piece
• Kids are out at all hours of the night
• After siesta people eat churros with chocolate
  
• Pizza is sometimes cut with scissors
• People don´t drink water on a regular basis
• People are baffled by water bottles (nalgene, aluminum, etc)
• Siblings all have matching outfits, even if one is 9 years old and the other is 2
• Not covering mouth for coughs or sneezes
• Spanish women always link arms walking down the street
• Milk and eggs aren´t refrigerated (!?!?)
• If you look remotely presentable you will be hit on by every man on the street
• Mixed drinks are made with 75% alcohol, 15% ice and 10% mixer
• Dogs aren´t leashed, or cleaned up after
• Girls don´t dance at bars
• Restaurants charge you for bread
• Waitors glare at you when you ask for tap water
  
• Fruit has to be weighed at grocery stores
• You are obligated to say that the food is ¨buenismo¨ within the first two minutes of every meal
• Spaniards don´t type with two hands
• Flan is sold everywhere, next to basics such as milk, eggs, and butter.
• Groups of spanish friends are ususally not co-ed
• People take one sip of their cafe con leche and then chug the rest when they are about to leave the bar
• Spanish women don´t exercise
• Every woman is "guapa"
• Old women wear lots of fur
• No fear of smoking or motos, two things that are considered extremely dangerous back home
• Staring
• Spanish women mother everyone
• Kids are named after parents and then nicknamed with diminuatives, but never with seemingly random names
  

La vista de una malagueña

When my fellow English teachers and I first arrived here there was a lot of complaining going on- our commute to work, rude people in the street, restaurants, slowness everywhere, not knowing who to go to for help etc. I figured that I would get used to it thereby becoming a "malaguena" who could not be phased by any bump in the road. Yesterday I learned that it is not just us foreigners who are frustrated and fed up with the way of life here...

It started in a conversation during my private English class. My student, who normally can be timid during our conversations, choosing to speak more Spanish than English was on the ball from the second I walked in her flat, "Hi!!!! How are you??? Would you like a coffee?" Our conversation started with a summary of our respective Semana Santa vacations and then there were three main important things we talked about that I would like to share:

She began by saying that recently she has been feeling very frustrated, disappointed and turned off by Málaga and wants a change for a while. First she told me about a man on her street who wears a green jacket and will put a big metal object in front of your car when you are trying to park so that you have to pay him in order to park. There is no one she can talk to about it and clearly it is illegal since the parking is supposed to be free. She says if she called the police they would think she was crazy and ask her why she was calling. They have no doorman or super in the building so they can't complain about problems on the street or in the building. I cant imainge not having a super. My building in New York is very safe, but small problems or even big ones come up every once in a while and you need a person to go to for help. The woman said the attitude here is (and she put her head in the air and started humming) that no one cares, people want to mind their own business because no one wants to be the person to complain about something. She said that the laweyer they have doesnt give a "mierda" either. Note: Spain could use some passionate and caring lawyers

Secondly, she is fed up with all of the doggy doo on the street. As I have mentioned before Málaga is a candidate for European Cultural Capital in 2016 and the other day some woman printed out signs saying "Málaga European Cultural Capital 2016" and stuck it in all of the dogg droppings she saw on the streets in Málaga. Pretty funny right?

Thirdly, she commented that women here are not equal to men like they are in other countries, that Spain is still very backwards in this regard. She said that instead of fighting for equal rights, women are extremely aggressive and rude especially when they drive their cars and constantly honk their horns and yell things our their windows.

And just today I was walking along the promenade towards Limonar to give a clase particular when three malagueños rode by me on their bikes and the last one pinched my butt. They kept riding, but would turn back periodically to smile and laugh at me and one even fell off his bike further up the road. It's like... really? What kind of education and upbringing did you have that you think you can ride by a woman on your bike and grab her ass. Give me a break Spain. Me da asco. Odio los malagueños.

So in conclusion, you are not being a high maintenance bratty American. People here ARE really rude, sleazy and inappropriate and the way of life IS extremely inefficient and frustrating to locals as well. And for those of you malagueños that this does not apply to, I did not mean to offend you, but PLEASE tell your compañeros to get their act together and start acting like a respectable society instead of a pack of barbarians.

P.D.A.

P.D.A., also known as "Public Display of Affection" is the physical demonstration of affection for another person in public, and depending on the context can be objectionable. Picture this scene: you are out at an intimate dinner with a group of your male and female friends. Although it is a friendly group dinner, your one girl friend will not stop making out with her boyfriend thereby making everyone feel uncomfortable. Something you might whisper to your other friends is, "God, they are soooo PDA" or "Can they quit it with the PDA??" usually followed or proceeded by, "Get a room!"

In Spain the notion of too much public affection does not exist. Two weeks ago I went to Madrid and on the bus ride there AND back there was couple directly across from me (different couples) displaying SEVERE PDA. A 6 hr bus ride to Madrid is long, crowded and hopefully quiet. These couples however had no regard for anyone else. There was kissing, laughing, heavy breathing, spooning (yes it is possible on a bus) and intertwining of legs. Give me a break.

Yesterday I was going for a walk on the beach and passed by a couple aggressively making out on a bench. 45 minutes later when I was walking back that way I passed by them and they were in the SAME position as 45 minuts before. EATING FACE.

Aside from the fact that it´s kind of funny/gross/innappropriate, this trend sheds light on to an interesting cultural aspect of Spain. In Spain it is the tradition for children to live with their parents until they get married. Therefore, most of the hanging out, hooking up, and dating takes place outside in the streets, or on public transportation. Spaniards are not encouraged to bring boyfriends/girlfriends over to their homes so all of the "D. A." has to be public.

I understand the culture, but I cant help blurting out "GET A ROOM" every time I see a couple like this.

Airport attire

People watching in the airport is pretty fun. In the US it's always funny, yet disturbing to see how many juicy velour sweatsuits you can spot while waiting for your flight to take off. Naturally you want to be comfortable if you're going to be sitting on a place for 4+hours, but come on people, there are plenty of better alternatives.

Europe I would say has the opposite problem. At the airport everyone is DECKED OUT. I'm talking, heels, fur, leather, red lipstick, the whole nine yards. When we landed in Lisbon around noon I spotted a woman who looked like she was about to walk down the red carpet, not to baggage claim. She was wearing designer skinny jeans and Christian Louboutins. While she was definitely overdressed, it's quite obvious the Europeans know how to look good no matter what their destination is.

Ironically I ended up wearing a similar outfit on the way home because I had to wear at least half of the clothes I brought on the trip, including my heaviest, highest heels so that my bag wasn't overweight. All I can say is that it's a better look than the juicy velour sweatsuit.

REBAJAS

The word "rebaja" can be translated into English as "reduction" or "discount," but right now in Spain the word "rebajas" does not refer to just any old sale. The "rebajas" refer to the unbelievable New Year sales in practically every store in Spain the whole month of January. Discounts range from 30% to 70% at some stores. People pretty much go crazy, wiping out the shelves of clothing, makeup, and appliance shops in a frantic attempt to get the best deal. Think of it like "Black Friday" except for a month long...Question though...how is it that Spaniards have so much extra spending money after Christmas? You'd think, especially in this economy, they would be completely wiped out in January. There are just some things about Spain that do not logically make sense...I have yet to dabble in the "rebajas," but will definitely give it a go this weekend and hope not to be trampled by a pack of feisty señoritas.

shu's new shoes

My fellow Spain lovers can attest that it does not matter what kind of study/work abroad budget we are on, there is always some extra € to buy Spanish shoes.
Here are Shu's recent shoe purchases (all purchased for less than €40) :
Above: brown flat boots-essential in Europe. Very comfy and looks great in pics.
Above: (i don't even know the name for this type of shoe) Purchased at Blanco. Not comfortable, but very cute.
Above: Also purchased at Blanco. Also not comfortable, also very cute.

White Pants

Memorial Day Weekend is by far one of my favorite weekends of the year for many reasons.
a. I generally celebrate it with Alice and her family in Shelter Island
b. It marks the beginning of the summer
c. It marks the beginning of when I can wear white pants.

We are all familiar with the rule: don't wear white after labor day (or before memorial day). I am not sure where this rule came from but I can only assume that it is to ensure that people only wear summer fashions during the summer months (I can see how wearing white open-toed shoes in January might be unwise). My new favorite thing about Spain is the ability to wear white pants all year round. Due to the lack of these holidays along with the amazing weather this rule does not exist in Spain. Above I am sporting my white pants in the end of October (total fashion faux pas in the US).

Is he gay?... or European....

This has been a serious debate since spring 2008 when I lived in Madrid for a semester. I often found myself asking this question when I was out and observing the dress/habits/mannerisms of men on the street or in clubs. I have nothing against gay men, they actually make very good friends, but due to stereotypes ingrained in my brain it is honestly very hard for me (and I know this applies to my friends as well) to think that a guy wearing nice shoes, skinny jeans, a messenger bag and slicked back hair is NOT attracted to other men... eeek! Ever since Franco died in 1975, and with him a 30yr dictatorship, Spain has completely redefined the role of men and women in society. Spain became a part of the EU in 1986 and in 2005 gay marriage became legal. This was unthinkable under Franco. I know a lot about this topic because I wrote my senior thesis on the evolving role of women in Spanish society from The Second Republic until modern day. Now there is a really hip fun area in Madrid called Chueca, coincidentally the "gay neighborhood," that we used to hang out in all the time because of the good restaurants, bars and shops.

Anyway, I brought this up because it is a question that I toss around in my head every time I pass by a guy on the street who fits this description, basically because I am just so curious! Are European girls attracted to guys who exude a feminine, metrosexual aura? Apparently so, and apparently we will never see eye to eye. Here is a picture from a club we went to in Sevilla. It is hard for me to believe that this guy swimming around in a fish tank at a club, wearing blue tights and a rainbow speedo has a girlfriend...but I guess I need be more open minded to opinions and tastes that are different from mine!

Agua

My close friends and family know about my addiction. To water. I drink on average a gallon of water a day. It semi drives my mom crazy because we are constantly shuttling back and forth to gristedes to satisfy my cravings, but I think there are worse addictions out there. To me water is a universal cure-all liquid. You know how the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding thinks windex can cure/fix anything? Well that is how I feel about water. Drinking it, swimming in it, splashing it around, freezing it, boiling it, it all works. And don't even get me started on carbonated water. When people ask me why my skin is so unbelievable soft, my response is always that I drink a lot of water. Hungry but dinner isn’t for an hour? Drink water. On a diet? Drink water. Feeling hungover? Go jump in a pool or dunk your head in a bucket of ice. Hair greasy and not feeling so hot? Take a shower. Sore throat? Hot water with lemon.

Anywho I generally admire the customs, traditions, culture and idiosyncrasies of the Spanish. For example, the siesta, sangria, staying out late, emphasis on the family, outdoor cafes and how they dress (sweatpants do not exist, everyone always looks put together). However there is one MAJOR problem I have come across the past two days I have been here and that is the lack of importance placed on water. In the mornings when we go to the hotel lobby for breakfast they always have tons of organge juice and coffee on display but never water! When they finally do put water out there is practically a stampede to get to it first. I mean I know everyone here drinks tons of coffee and always has vino or cerveza with dinner, but I just don’t understand why they don’t love water! Why aren't the Spanish women guzzling water to stay thin? Also when I have gone to buy water here in Sevilla I have paid 1,30 euro for barely a liter of water! At home I can get a gallon of water for less than $2.00. However I did find a little bodega near the university today which was only ,80 euro for a big water. I thought she said 8 euros because I did not think there was anyway they would only charge ,80 euro cents for water so I tried to give her 8 and she laughed at me. This is how desperate I was, I was going to pay around $13.00 for a big water. The brand of water I have been drinking is "Bezoya" the slogan is "purifica tu organismo desde el interior" (me gusta). Anyway the key is definitely to make sure I always have a water bottle in my bag and to buy my water at a little bodega instead of somewhere in the tourist area or Corte Ingles.

Toddlers on Planes

I can't really think of a creative title for this post because this is really it point in case: toddlers on planes, what are your thoughts and feelings? I had personally never given much thought to the subject until after my flight with two wailing monsters.

Everything was going great. I sat in aisle 11 (my favorite number), next to a cute Spanish woman, had a window seat and a good view of the movie screen. I read through US Weekly, Cosmo ( very good this month, both how quirky yet very good looking is Megan Fox?) and took 2 nyquil and was looking forward to a couple hours of good rest. I am not sure how long I was out for, but suddenly I heard it. It was loud, not piercing, but a dull loud WAIL. Kind of like: waaaa........waaaaaaaaa.........WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Not only was there a crying 2yr old boy in my row across the aisle, but there was ANOTHER hysterical girl behind him. It was almost like a symphony. The boy would start and then the girl would come in louder and whinier and eventually they would be in unison. Not only did the parents not apologize ( i.e. write a HUGE sign on poster board apologizing for ruining the chance of anyone in rows 10-30 from getting sleep and hold it up for everyone to see), but the girls dad also thought it was a good idea to pat her back while she was crying thereby transforming the wail into a howling echo. Good work dad. All I could think about was how ungrateful these toddlers probably were for their extravagant trip across the Atlantic and that they will probably never remember visiting NY, but I will never forget how annoying and deafening they were. Basically only two words can sum up this experience. Two words my friends and I use to describe less than enjoyable life experiences: "so miz."

However, the Spanish woman sitting next to me did not flinch. Every time one of the toddlers would start to vocalize I would purposefully turn my head towards them and move around to see which one it was hoping the parents would notice my disgust and somehow silence them. My Spanish neighbor, who was on the aisle and therefore in closer proximity to the creatures did not show any signs of repulsion. She actually raising her finger and kind of wiggled it in a playful manner towards the boy. How was she not so turned off and fed up with these bratty pests?

Notes to self:
1. Be more patient and composed like the Spanish
2. Don't raise bratty annoying kids
3. If 2 doesn't work out, hire a babysitter and go on vacation alone with husband