En resumen...

Now that I have been home for over a month and a half, created a new blog and most importantly started a new job, I feel like the transition period has ended and it's sadly time to say adios, or rather, hasta luego, to "An Offshore Account..."

Towards the end of my stay in Spain my friends and I talked a lot about the past year, what we've learned, what we'll miss, and what the future has in store for us after this. The last night we were all together we did something kind of high school- we made superlatives- I ended up with "Most likely to be successful" and "Most likely to be on 'The Real Housewives of New York'"...thoughts?? Even though I have been home for a little while now it's really hard for me to "draw a conclusion" from this past year. So far it's hard to just sum it up in one all encompassing sentence.

It is one of the scariest, most fascinating and "amazing" things for me to look back on things I have done and picture my reaction if I had told myself before they happened, that they were going to happen the way they did- I would have said, no way. Particular things that stand out- in my life- playing at Nationals for my soccer team in high school, getting in early to Vanderbilt, moving to Spain to teach English for 9 months, sleeping in a desert oasis in the Sahara, and starting my career in New York at Lord Abbett.

You never know where your job will take you, what new person you will meet, what friends you will get closer to and the ones that will drift away. So it's great to plan and be organzied and have goals and dreams, but there is nothing like looking back and seeing how things actually played out.

My year in Spain was exciting, challenging, stimulating, and revitalizing, and many times annoying, depressing, lonely and frustrating. Despite the rough patches, I am so happy that I took the risk I did. If anything, I think it gave me an interesting story to tell in my interviews this past month and a half and maybe even helped to secure my current position. So while I cannot give a quick concise reflection of what this year has really meant to me ,here are a few very important pieces of advice that I have to offer based on my experiences from this past year:

Take a risk and do it with confidence. Do something outside of your comfort zone, something you know will be a challenge. Once you tackle one small hurdle, life's biggest problems and challenges won’t seem as big and scary anymore and you will feel so proud of yourself looking back on the experience. And when you do this, smile, be confident, its the hottest look around.

Have patience. Being impatient is just going to make you frustrated and unpleasant to be around. When the going gets tough just say as the Spanish say, “no pasa nada.” There is no need to rush through life. Another train always comes.

Aprovecha. Maybe you are young, maybe you are old, either way take advantage of the opportunities around you. Don’t be complacent and lazy. We live in a world with so many opportunities to learn and grow and not taking advantage of them and having an interesting story to tell is going to make you a really boring guest at a cocktail party.

Love yourself. No matter how supportive your family, friends and significant other are, you are ultimately the only person that will always be there for yourself. Let people into your life, but make sure that you can always make yourself the happiest. So do things that make you feel good and positive about who you are- find passions and activities that get your adrenaline pumping and discover your purpose in life.

You can learn from everyone. There is not one person in this world that can't teach you something, whether it's from your professor or parent who is supposed to teach you, or your 5yr old student who you are supposed to be teaching, or a homeless person who seemingly has no education at all. Listen to everyone and take note of everything you hear.

Thank you to all the friends and family who have supported me while I was in Spain this past year. It has meant so much to have your encouragement and I hope you have enjoyed reading about my experiences and will continue to seek out your own offshore adventures. I invite you to continue to follow my life in New York on Apple Juice.

Besos,

Schu

Finding Faith

This week has been an emotional roller coaster for a lot of reasons. But what I have been thinking about the most is my friend Kyle and trying to grasp where he is now. I feel very lucky and fortunate that I have yet to experience the death of someone close to me in my life. My great grandmother died when I was around 12 years old and she was in her 90s and although I was very sad, she had lived a long full life and I knew that this was "normal." I´ve known parents of friends, and grandparents of friends, and friends of friends who have passed away, but Kyle is the first person, the first friend, someone my age, I´ve known to die. It´s been very hard for me to conceptualize where he is right now. I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school in New York until 5th grade. I receieved my First Holy Communion, Confession and Confirmation. Even though I wouldn´t consider myself very religious I pray almost every night and when I can´t sleep I recite my "Hail Marys" and "Our Fathers" in my head. I´ve always believed in heaven and that is where you go when you die. Heaven looks down on Earth. Everyone wears white robes with gold belts, kind of like the ancient Greeks. They walk on clouds and it is always daylight. There are beautiful waterfalls, rivers, flowers and butterflies and someone is playing the harp. Our deceased family members and friends can float down to Earth and whisper into our ears when we need help.

Now that I am actually experiencing what it is like to lose someone, especially someone who was so young, with so much ahead of him, someone I used to see every day and didn´t think much of it, I have so many questions. Death isn´t something that my friends and I talk about every day like we do relationships, food, working out and travel plans. You hear about people dying all the time, but it sounds so far away and isolated and factual- Kyle Craig died at 1am May 22nd. It sounds so...abstract...

Kyle´s funeral is today. Will his ghost be there, sitting next to his family, watching them remember him and honor his short life? Will he try to call out and touch them like Patrick Swayze in "Ghost?" Has his spirit been born into someone else´s body? Does everyone end up in the same "heaven" regardless of race, age, and beliefs?

While I am feeling extremely lost and pensive about what death means and if there is life after death, I am certain that everything happens for a reason. Many times it is not obvious right away, but I know that it is true. Eventually, weeks, months, years later you cope, not to forget the past, but to understand and see how events fit into some greater plan in life. No matter how devastating, tragic and upsetting these events were, everything has a purpose. You can spend all day asking why this happened, why Kyle, why now, and I have the same questions, but I don´t think you or I will get the exact answers to those questions we´re seeking. I want to spend my time remembering Kyle and honoring his life, and to find faith so that I can truly believe and understand where he is right now. For now I´d like to think that Kyle is somewhere where he can do the things he loved on Earth, play music, sports, surf, and swim. That heaven is different for every person, it´s your favorite place and things about Earth, but every day. I hope he knows we will never forget him, and I hope to continue to be reminded of him every day.

Las pesadillas han empezado...

I´m already having nightmares about my return to New York. Great. It´s not unusual for me to have them before I go through a big transition period, but I still have two weeks left here why do they have to start now?! Sometimes they aren´t exactly nightmares, but just the weirdest most jumbled thoughts of ALL TIME.

In the most recent "nightmare," I was invited to a Christmas party by a middle school friend in Morocco. Before this I was going for a run in Sag Harbor and bumped into a friend from Spain and stopped running to talk to her about life. I arrived early to the party because my mom had to drop me off in our car. I thought the party was going to be for him and his parents but the "kids" party was separate. I volunteered to help him set up, which I thought was considerate but not something he would agree to, I still needed to get ready, but he said yes and handed me a huge piece of blue paper to cover the interior of the garage. I pretended to walk towards the garage, but went into the bathroom to do my makeup. Then our whole group of friends arrived. The group consisted of many middle/high school friends and a ton of people I have met in Spain. One of my best guy friends showed up with his girlfriend, but I ended up sitting on his lap and making out with him the whole time. Girlfriend was MIA. I was drunk and uncomfortable and ended the night at my Grandma´s house. Analyze THAT.

La Despedida

It was definitely a weekend of mixed emotions. As usual I was excited to go to Madrid and stay with Rachael, but there was naturally a feeling of sadness being that it was my last weekend there for a while... I just can't believe how fast it's gone by...

The toughest part was having the last "cena" with Mercedes. We had dinner on Thursday night- delicious salad, tortilla, pizza, and sangria. Yum. We talked about the usual things, teaching, Vanderbilt, the economy, gypsys, and what are plans are for the upcoming months. Her son, Fer, says he definitely wants to come to New York this fall and she sounded like she was on board. I'll need to use my unmatchable persuasion skills to make sure she follows through. She gave Rachael and I a little gift so that we "wouldn't forget" her. To forget her would be to erase the past two years of my life.

Even though I know we'll see each other again and therefore there was no need to be too sad I got unexpectedly emotional towards the end and couldn't help from bursting out into tears. I don't know if she'll ever really know how important she has been to me. She is the most thoughtful, caring, fair and motherly person I've ever met that isn't my own mother. I feel so lucky to have ever been a part of her home. She ended her last email to me like this:

"Ha sido increible verte estos meses, eres una persona muy especial y me alegro de que Vanderbilt os trajera a mi casa a Sarah y a tí, espero que no dejememos nunca de estar en contacto, quiero saber siempre de tu vida, cuando te cases... cuando tengas hijos.... etc, etc.

Te queremos

UN BESO GRANDE"

Naturally I was thinking of ways to extend my Madrid stay- quitting my job and moving there for the next month or so to spend more time with her and everyone else -but if I was able to make this year happen I know I'll find ways to come back again.

Above: Me and Rachael in front of El Mercado de San Miguel

Above: Me, Cristina and Rachael at the Yamba Charity Event

Above: Me, Rachael and Cristina at dinner at Castellana DF

DJ Universe

There is a baby wailing so loudly on the bus I am starting to think it is:

a. more likely a retarded person mumbling
b. so loud it might as well be sitting on my lap

After a while I can't even pinpoint the direction the noise is coming from because it's everywhere. I turn around because I think maybe there is a chance it's behind me. Instead, I see a black-as-night Moroccan man digging for his boogers, finding them and then staring in awe. Literally. I take off my sunglasses and give him the grossest look I've got so he knows I'm blatantly staring at him in complete revulsion. He doesn't catch my eye, too busy examining his findings. I turn back around. Some new black-as-night men have entered the bus and are shouting in a foreign tongue. One is playing music from his mobile. My new pet peeve since living in Spain. People who think it is appropriate to blast music from their mobile phone in a confined space. All I can think is WHY didn't I buy new headphones yesterday instead of leaving it for this afternoon, because for the 4th time since I've been in Spain one of the headphone ears has stopped working making it physically impossible to block out this torturous track the Universal DJ has dealt me on todays life playlist.

I close my eyes and smile. It really is the bad tunes on your life soundtrack that make you appreciate the good ones. Can't wait to see what the Universe has in store for me next.

What's not next

I am a big fan of brainstorming, writing, and list making. That is pretty much how I think, make decisions, and live. Helloooo my name is Alex Schueler.

Senior year of college rolled around. I realized there were only two places in the world I would consider gracing my presence with next: New York or Spain. I was pretty split. So what did I do? I tried as hard as I could to get a job in both places and figured whatever option(s) came up I would make the best of.

Networking, networking, networking. I must have spoken to over 60 people, friends and strangers about what they liked about their job, if there were opportunities in the field, what they recommended during such a grim job market and what steps I could take next. So what happened? I was in the library frantically making my final edits to my 40page senior thesis, something I had worked on all semester that would determine my entire grade and was my last assignment in college. I finally felt it was as ready as it would ever be (and please God let me graduate on time) and clicked "print" when I simultaneously heard my blackberry vibrate and the email icon lit up. It was an email I had been waiting three months for. I had been accepted to teach in Spain for 2009-2010. It was frightening how symbolic it all seemed. There I was in the library about to submit a document that represented the culmination of my entire college career, and not a moment later was an email outlining what the next chapter of my life could be. Nothing substantial in NY surfaced so I made some pro and cons lists and made a decision. Spain.

I came to a similar thought process the other day when it came time to decide if I was going to re-apply to teach here for another year. My initial reaction was of course I will apply just to have an option. Then I thought well I might as well have more than one so I will apply to teach in Madrid also, or maybe I could be an aupair and take Portuguese or French classes, or even go to graduate school here or get an internship in London or...and then my mind was racing to all possible ways, my mouse was clicking on all possible links for how I could stay in Europe doing something productive for another year.

Then I came back to reality. The reality is that I made an amazing, unregrettable, genius decision for my first year out of college. Kudos to Schu. However, after making some mental lists about what I like about living here, what I've learned and what I want out of the future I came to the epiphany that I don't even want to give myself the option to live in Europe after this year. I want to focus all of my energy and time into finding a job in New York. I will not be applying to teach in Málaga, Madrid or any foreign land of the sort, para nada.

I love Europe. I love speaking Spanish. I love being on my own. I love being immersed in a different culture. I love(/hate) being challenged by everything around me every day. It makes me feel alive.

The main, simple reason I can make this decision is because I do not want a career in Education, and what has been reconfirmed to me since I've been here is the only legal way I can work in Europe at this point in my life ( primarily, since I don't have a European passport), is by teaching English. I would love to eventually seek out global work opportunities once I am established in a company, but one step at a time.

So Schu what is next? Well I am not sure what's next, but what's not next is another year in Europe.

Lo siento España, Nueva York me llama.